select tl_news.id, tl_news.alias,tl_content.headline, left(tl_content.`text`,150) as txt,autor_id,featured from tl_news,tl_content where tl_content.ptable='tl_news' and tl_news.id=tl_content.pid and tl_news.id in (19,20,44,43,11,12,13,14,15,16,17,18,21,22,23,24,25,26,27,28,29,30,31,32,33,34,35,36,37,38,39,40,41,42,45,46,47,48,49,336,51,52,53,92,55,56,57,58,81,60,116,62,63,64,65,66,67,68,69,70,71,72,73,74,76,111,78,79,80,82,83,84,85,86,87,88,89,90,91,93,94,95,96,97,98,99,341,101,102,103,104,105,106,107,108,109,110,112,365,114,115,117,118,119,120,121,122,123,124,125,346,128,129,130,131,132,133,134,135,136,137,138,139,140,141,142,143,144,347,146,147,148,149,150,151,152,366,154,155,156,157,158,159,160,161,162,163,164,165,367,429,167,168,169,170,171,172,173,174,175,176,177,178,179,180,181,182,183,184,185,186,187,188,189,190,191,192,371,194,195,428,197,198,199,200,201,202,203,204,205,206,207,208,209,210,211,212,213,214,215,216,217,369,219,220,221,222,223,224,225,226,227,228,229,230,231,232,233,234,235,236,237,238,239,240,241,242,243,244,245,246,247,248,249,250,251,252,253,254,255,256,257,258,259,260,261,348,263,264,265,266,267,268,269,270,271,272,273,274,275,276,277,278,279,280,281,282,283,284,285,345,287,288,289,290,342,292,293,294,295,296,297,298,299,300,301,302,303,304,305,306,307,308,309,310,311,312,313,314,426,316,317,318,319,320,321,322,323,324,325,326,327,328,329,330,331,332,333,334,335,337,338,339,340,343,344,349,350,351,352,353,427,355,356,357,358,359,360,361,362,363,364,372,373,374,375,376,377,378,379,380,381,383,384,386,387,388,389,390,391,392,393,394,395,396,397,398,399,400,401,402,433,404,405,406,407,408,409,410,411,412,430,414,432,416,417,418,419,431,421,422,423,424) order by featured DESC, tl_news.id=353 DESC, tl_news.id=173 DESC, tl_news.id=232 DESC, tl_news.id=150 DESC, tl_news.id=141 DESC, tl_news.id=329 DESC, tl_news.id=280 DESC, tl_news.id=273 DESC, tl_news.id=71 DESC, tl_news.id=89 DESC, tl_news.id=149 DESC, tl_news.id=219 DESC, tl_news.id=79 DESC, tl_news.id=313 DESC, tl_news.id=365 DESC, tl_news.id=251 DESC, tl_news.id=46 DESC, tl_news.id=349 DESC, tl_news.id=197 DESC, tl_news.id=216 DESC, tl_news.id=66 DESC, tl_news.id=305 DESC, tl_news.id=339 DESC, tl_news.id=138 DESC, tl_news.id=24 DESC, tl_news.id=123 DESC, tl_news.id=96 DESC, tl_news.id=201 DESC, tl_news.id=192 DESC, tl_news.id=318 DESC, tl_news.id=416 DESC, tl_news.id=343 DESC, tl_news.id=266 DESC, tl_news.id=57 DESC, tl_news.id=344 DESC, tl_news.id=169 DESC, tl_news.id=319 DESC, tl_news.id=367 DESC, tl_news.id=341 DESC, tl_news.id=223 DESC, tl_news.id=261 DESC, tl_news.id=91 DESC, tl_news.id=210 DESC, tl_news.id=84 DESC, tl_news.id=124 DESC, tl_news.id=51 DESC, tl_news.id=220 DESC, tl_news.id=396 DESC, tl_news.id=234 DESC, tl_news.id=345 DESC, tl_news.id=109 DESC, tl_news.id=240 DESC, tl_news.id=336 DESC, tl_news.id=37 DESC, tl_news.id=194 DESC, tl_news.id=87 DESC, tl_news.id=189 DESC, tl_news.id=429 DESC, tl_news.id=398 DESC, tl_news.id=275 DESC, tl_news.id=347 DESC, tl_news.id=183 DESC, tl_news.id=27 DESC, tl_news.id=203 DESC, tl_news.id=427 DESC, tl_news.id=204 DESC, tl_news.id=101 DESC, tl_news.id=172 DESC, tl_news.id=226 DESC, tl_news.id=29 DESC, tl_news.id=254 DESC, tl_news.id=140 DESC, tl_news.id=411 DESC, tl_news.id=299 DESC, tl_news.id=259 DESC, tl_news.id=187 DESC, tl_news.id=108 DESC, tl_news.id=277 DESC, tl_news.id=263 DESC, tl_news.id=296 DESC, tl_news.id=282 DESC, tl_news.id=407 DESC, tl_news.id=350 DESC, tl_news.id=227 DESC, tl_news.id=181 DESC, tl_news.id=322 DESC, tl_news.id=167 DESC, tl_news.id=236 DESC, tl_news.id=199 DESC, tl_news.id=348 DESC, tl_news.id=165 DESC, tl_news.id=238 DESC, tl_news.id=86 DESC, tl_news.id=135 DESC, tl_news.id=49 DESC, tl_news.id=260 DESC, tl_news.id=235 DESC, tl_news.id=122 DESC, tl_news.id=231 DESC, tl_news.id=410 DESC, tl_news.id=62 DESC, tl_news.id=271 DESC, tl_news.id=323 DESC, tl_news.id=60 DESC, tl_news.id=58 DESC, tl_news.id=45 DESC, tl_news.id=93 DESC, tl_news.id=270 DESC, tl_news.id=419 DESC, tl_news.id=131 DESC, tl_news.id=418 DESC, tl_news.id=399 DESC, tl_news.id=200 DESC, tl_news.id=55 DESC, tl_news.id=248 DESC, tl_news.id=26 DESC, tl_news.id=316 DESC, tl_news.id=265 DESC, tl_news.id=115 DESC, tl_news.id=185 DESC, tl_news.id=287 DESC, tl_news.id=426 DESC, tl_news.id=132 DESC, tl_news.id=228 DESC, tl_news.id=363 DESC, tl_news.id=88 DESC, tl_news.id=242 DESC, tl_news.id=405 DESC, tl_news.id=80 DESC, tl_news.id=38 DESC, tl_news.id=431 DESC, tl_news.id=103 DESC, tl_news.id=30 DESC, tl_news.id=176 DESC, tl_news.id=314 DESC, tl_news.id=264 DESC, tl_news.id=433 DESC, tl_news.id=422 DESC, tl_news.id=82 DESC, tl_news.id=18 DESC, tl_news.id=23 DESC, tl_news.id=304 DESC, tl_news.id=215 DESC, tl_news.id=332 DESC, tl_news.id=128 DESC, tl_news.id=64 DESC, tl_news.id=230 DESC, tl_news.id=42 DESC, tl_news.id=25 DESC, tl_news.id=154 DESC, tl_news.id=164 DESC, tl_news.id=179 DESC, tl_news.id=400 DESC, tl_news.id=224 DESC, tl_news.id=110 DESC, tl_news.id=245 DESC, tl_news.id=402 DESC, tl_news.id=22 DESC, tl_news.id=392 DESC, tl_news.id=68 DESC, tl_news.id=383 DESC, tl_news.id=346 DESC, tl_news.id=311 DESC, tl_news.id=81 DESC, tl_news.id=70 DESC, tl_news.id=308 DESC, tl_news.id=292 DESC, tl_news.id=276 DESC, tl_news.id=11 DESC, tl_news.id=283 DESC, tl_news.id=111 DESC, tl_news.id=279 DESC, tl_news.id=384 DESC, tl_news.id=98 DESC, tl_news.id=161 DESC, tl_news.id=130 DESC, tl_news.id=152 DESC, tl_news.id=289 DESC, tl_news.id=300 DESC, tl_news.id=356 DESC, tl_news.id=117 DESC, tl_news.id=406 DESC, tl_news.id=211 DESC, tl_news.id=16 DESC, tl_news.id=212 DESC, tl_news.id=330 DESC, tl_news.id=133 DESC, tl_news.id=312 DESC, tl_news.id=19 DESC, tl_news.id=432 DESC, tl_news.id=31 DESC, tl_news.id=72 DESC, tl_news.id=186 DESC, tl_news.id=119 DESC, tl_news.id=253 DESC, tl_news.id=195 DESC, tl_news.id=28 DESC, tl_news.id=361 DESC, tl_news.id=375 DESC, tl_news.id=178 DESC, tl_news.id=357 DESC, tl_news.id=144 DESC, tl_news.id=378 DESC, tl_news.id=151 DESC, tl_news.id=295 DESC, tl_news.id=249 DESC, tl_news.id=198 DESC, tl_news.id=148 DESC, tl_news.id=250 DESC, tl_news.id=20 DESC, tl_news.id=324 DESC, tl_news.id=306 DESC, tl_news.id=428 DESC, tl_news.id=387 DESC, tl_news.id=284 DESC, tl_news.id=184 DESC, tl_news.id=92 DESC, tl_news.id=307 DESC, tl_news.id=190 DESC, tl_news.id=393 DESC, tl_news.id=163 DESC, tl_news.id=252 DESC, tl_news.id=395 DESC, tl_news.id=278 DESC, tl_news.id=15 DESC, tl_news.id=78 DESC, tl_news.id=156 DESC, tl_news.id=321 DESC, tl_news.id=120 DESC, tl_news.id=397 DESC, tl_news.id=376 DESC, tl_news.id=325 DESC, tl_news.id=225 DESC, tl_news.id=129 DESC, tl_news.id=359 DESC, tl_news.id=139 DESC, tl_news.id=388 DESC, tl_news.id=337 DESC, tl_news.id=246 DESC, tl_news.id=309 DESC, tl_news.id=338 DESC, tl_news.id=73 DESC, tl_news.id=274 DESC, tl_news.id=147 DESC, tl_news.id=412 DESC, tl_news.id=21 DESC, tl_news.id=281 DESC, tl_news.id=268 DESC, tl_news.id=67 DESC, tl_news.id=207 DESC, tl_news.id=430 DESC, tl_news.id=369 DESC, tl_news.id=188 DESC, tl_news.id=106 DESC, tl_news.id=320 DESC, tl_news.id=33 DESC, tl_news.id=285 DESC, tl_news.id=157 DESC, tl_news.id=217 DESC, tl_news.id=17 DESC, tl_news.id=389 DESC, tl_news.id=408 DESC, tl_news.id=374 DESC, tl_news.id=12 DESC, tl_news.id=107 DESC, tl_news.id=116 DESC, tl_news.id=297 DESC, tl_news.id=63 DESC, tl_news.id=409 DESC, tl_news.id=404 DESC, tl_news.id=43 DESC, tl_news.id=202 DESC, tl_news.id=136 DESC, tl_news.id=99 DESC, tl_news.id=362 DESC, tl_news.id=258 DESC, tl_news.id=105 DESC, tl_news.id=331 DESC, tl_news.id=328 DESC, tl_news.id=241 DESC, tl_news.id=293 DESC, tl_news.id=214 DESC, tl_news.id=335 DESC, tl_news.id=267 DESC, tl_news.id=74 DESC, tl_news.id=182 DESC, tl_news.id=272 DESC, tl_news.id=301 DESC, tl_news.id=174 DESC, tl_news.id=104 DESC, tl_news.id=32 DESC, tl_news.id=351 DESC, tl_news.id=48 DESC, tl_news.id=97 DESC, tl_news.id=52 DESC, tl_news.id=244 DESC, tl_news.id=114 DESC, tl_news.id=14 DESC, tl_news.id=168 DESC, tl_news.id=47 DESC, tl_news.id=41 DESC, tl_news.id=326 DESC, tl_news.id=342 DESC, tl_news.id=35 DESC, tl_news.id=390 DESC, tl_news.id=237 DESC, tl_news.id=206 DESC, tl_news.id=421 DESC, tl_news.id=34 DESC, tl_news.id=177 DESC, tl_news.id=76 DESC, tl_news.id=317 DESC, tl_news.id=90 DESC, tl_news.id=205 DESC, tl_news.id=239 DESC, tl_news.id=247 DESC, tl_news.id=255 DESC, tl_news.id=159 DESC, tl_news.id=209 DESC, tl_news.id=221 DESC, tl_news.id=102 DESC, tl_news.id=121 DESC, tl_news.id=39 DESC, tl_news.id=391 DESC, tl_news.id=310 DESC, tl_news.id=423 DESC, tl_news.id=401 DESC, tl_news.id=358 DESC, tl_news.id=191 DESC, tl_news.id=269 DESC, tl_news.id=222 DESC, tl_news.id=366 DESC, tl_news.id=424 DESC, tl_news.id=381 DESC, tl_news.id=414 DESC, tl_news.id=298 DESC, tl_news.id=334 DESC, tl_news.id=355 DESC, tl_news.id=302 DESC, tl_news.id=229 DESC, tl_news.id=360 DESC, tl_news.id=294 DESC, tl_news.id=162 DESC, tl_news.id=394 DESC, tl_news.id=208 DESC, tl_news.id=56 DESC, tl_news.id=53 DESC, tl_news.id=417 DESC, tl_news.id=170 DESC, tl_news.id=175 DESC, tl_news.id=364 DESC, tl_news.id=288 DESC, tl_news.id=256 DESC, tl_news.id=377 DESC, tl_news.id=303 DESC, tl_news.id=158 DESC, tl_news.id=379 DESC, tl_news.id=65 DESC, tl_news.id=327 DESC, tl_news.id=372 DESC, tl_news.id=257 DESC, tl_news.id=333 DESC, tl_news.id=137 DESC, tl_news.id=36 DESC, tl_news.id=340 DESC, tl_news.id=380 DESC, tl_news.id=386 DESC, tl_news.id=69 DESC, tl_news.id=155 DESC, tl_news.id=373 DESC, tl_news.id=290 DESC, tl_news.id=352 DESC, tl_news.id=160 DESC, tl_news.id=44 DESC, tl_news.id=118 DESC, tl_news.id=171 DESC, tl_news.id=143 DESC, tl_news.id=142 DESC, tl_news.id=134 DESC, tl_news.id=180 DESC, tl_news.id=125 DESC, tl_news.id=371 DESC, tl_news.id=112 DESC, tl_news.id=13 DESC, tl_news.id=95 DESC, tl_news.id=94 DESC, tl_news.id=213 DESC, tl_news.id=85 DESC, tl_news.id=83 DESC, tl_news.id=233 DESC, tl_news.id=243 DESC, tl_news.id=146 DESC, tl_news.id=40 DESC

Fremd sein

Ich habe genug. Genug davon, hier geboren worden zu sein und trotzdem als fremd abgestempelt zu werden… Genug davon, meinen Namen falsch aussprechen zu müssen, damit ihn hier Lebende leichter verstehen oder schreiben können. . .

Genug von den Blicken, die ich spüre, wenn ich in einer Gruppe hier Lebender meinen Nachnamen nenne. . . Genug davon, dass bei der Visumsbeantragung mit mir gesprochen wird, als wäre ich psychisch zurückgeblieben…

Genug davon, dass es mir übel genommen wird, das Land, woher ich stamme, als Heimat zu sehen, obwohl ich hier lebe. . . Genug davon, dass ich fast gezwungen werde, das Land hier als Zuhause zu sehen, obwohl ich es nicht als solches empfinde. . .

Genug von dem Leben zwischen zwei Ländern, zwei Mentalitäten… Genug davon, in beiden als fremd gesehen zu werden. . . Zuhause als fremd und hier genauso. . .

Genug davon, dass jüngere Generationen, die hier geboren werden, ihre Muttersprache fast nicht mehr sprechen. . . Genug davon, dass so viele Menschen ihre Wurzeln vergessen und nie wieder in die Heimat reisen… Genug von den Menschen, die ihr Herkunftsland verleugnen, in der Hoffnung, dass sie somit bessere Jobchancen haben. . .

Genug davon, dass ältere Generationen, die hier ihr Leben lang gearbeitet haben, zum Staatskapital beigetragen haben, beschimpft und von oben herab angesehen werden, wenn sie ein Wort nicht korrekt aussprechen. . . Genug davon, dass schlechtes Deutsch von mir erwartet wird, sobald jemand meinen Nachnamen hört… Genug von der Aussage „wenn’s dir hier nicht gefällt, dann geh doch zurück“ … wohin zurück?

Ich habe genug, mich rechtfertigen zu müssen, wenn ich so gut wie alle meine Ferien zuhause verbringe. . . „Du fährst SCHON WIEDER runter?“ … Wohin soll ich denn, wenn nicht zu meiner Familie, meinen Freunden, meinem Haus, meinem Garten, meinen Haustieren… dort ist alles meins – dort ist daheim.

Ich habe genug, kann es jedoch nicht erklären… Ich habe genug, kann es aber nicht ändern – das Leben als Fremder in beiden Ländern…